In This Life
by xTamarax
Summary: I’d suffocate for you if it meant that you could breathe
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: There is a reason it's called fan fiction. I own nothing regarding General Hospital, I simply manipulate the characters for my own amusement

Rating: PG-13

Author: Tamara

A/N: I'm kind of intertwining some of the shows events, not particularly in the same order as the show, and making up some stuff of my own. Story just kind of follows itself. It's not really a story so much, as it is segments. I don't know how to explain, please just give it a chance.

This is completely un-batead,

**In This Life**

**I.**

"_It's the least that you deserve."_

Stark, harsh words played like a broken records over and over inside his head, over and over again. Each one pounding like a drum against the skull of his head. They escaped her lips in the calm, harshness of her voice, striking right through him and into his gut, tearing and prodding at his insides. A surge of pain like he had never felt before took over, and his lungs failed to fully expand with oxygen.

He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing away all the wrong he had done. He wished away all the pain he had inflicted upon Coop, Maxie, Lulu, and himself. But this he least expected. Surely he'd make a brilliant masochist.

It was then that, while staring at her, searching for something to say, anything to say, he realized those words stung even more than the would from anyone else but her. Pure; it was because she was so pure compared to every other condemned soul in this town. She had a heart that seemed a little less cold, and more open, too trusting. With those words, she was just like everyone else in Port Charles, so quick to condemn and judge without a trial. He tried to wear his disappointment well and concealed it with anger.

And if he hadn't closed his blue eyes, he might have seen the disappointment and the pang of regret reflected in her own beautiful, brown eyes.

"Logan," she whispered loudly, almost pleading and trying to reach out her arm for him, to touch him, to let him know she hadn't meant those words, she hadn't mean to drive the knife further into the wound.

"It's okay. You're right," his voice spoke in the soft, southern drawl that made her feel anything but contempt for him. Except this time, he didn't miss the look that said 'I'm Sorry.'

And she didn't miss the glassiness in his eyes or the defeat in his tone that struck her to her core.

She wonders if this is how his heart breaks, just like hers, as he walks away without looking back.

It was the first time he ever wondered why he cared so much about what she thought and her words. It was the first time in a long time the first thing on his mind wasn't a blonde, but rather a brunette who was oblivious to the effect she had on the people around her. It was the first time he truly cared what someone thought.

**II.**

Large, masculine fingers curled around the worn metal door knob of the small town diner. Through the looking glass he could see on darkness, and he gazed at his cell phone with the other. Closing time was no where near. He glanced at the sign on the door. "Open," was sprawled across the rectangular sign. He slowly turned the door handle and stepped through the threshold, and was greeted with silence and a darkness that felt warm and embracing.

"Hello?" he asked loudly in his Texan accent

"Who's there?" a small, crackling voice asked alarmed, and Logan spun around too make out the shadow of a soft, feminine figure sitting at a small wooden table hidden in a back corner. Concern filled his veins instinctively as he heard how small she sounded, how lost and pained she sounded.

"Georgie? It's Logan. Are you okay? Why are you sitting here in the dark?" Logan asked as he stepped closer to her table when he heard the scraping of the chair on the floor, and she rose out of the hard, wooden chair. Even in the darkness, the tears she tried to furiously wipe away with her hand glistened and she moved quickly to rush past him.

"I'm just wonderful. Everything is fine," her lie unconvincing and dripping with sarcasm, she tensed a little more as Logan wrapped his large, calloused hand around the exposed skin of her forearm.

"That's a lie, doll. You've been crying," he pointed out.

A sardonic laugh escaped her. "So I was crying. No big deal. Why do you care anyways?' she challenged.

"Georgie, did someone hurt you?" he asked, his voice serious and concerned at the implications of his words, and catching him off guard at his sudden protectiveness at the girl he barely knew.

Georgie struggled to free herself from his grasp, despite the electricity that sent a shiver through her spine as his fingers grazed her flesh. Logan refused to let her go, but he loosened his grip, and slid his hand down her arm to rest around her wrist. His thumb unconsciously rubbed against the pulse point and the inside of her wrist, the intimate gesture affecting her.

"Just tell what it is. What the hell is it about her?" Georgie's voice laced with venom, discontent and an underlying pain.

"Who?" Logan asked confused

"_Her. _She left, you know? She left with _him_. They went to Europe. _I_ was supposed to go to Europe."

"Who, Georgie?" Logan asked, swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth, afraid he knew exactly whom she was referring too.

"I just don't get it. Please tell me how she does it. All she's ever done is break up relationships, break someone's heart, lead someone one. All she does is causing pain, and yet she always gets to be happy. She's so selfish, too wrapped up in herself playing the damsel in distress. And they fall for it _every_ time," Georgie ranted disgusted. "Every single last one of you. Dillon, Milo, Spinelli and even you, Logan Hayes. You're all too wrapped up in her Barbie blonde hair, blue eyes, and fake smiles too ever notice anyone else, to ever notice what's standing in front of you!" Georgie's tears had know resumed, falling freely down her porcelain skin, leaving a hot, salty trail down to her lips. "I'm so tired. So tired of meaning nothing and coming last, especially to someone like, LuLu," Georgie was now relying on Logan, who stood stoic, to support her. "I'm so tired, Logan," she whispered in desperation and she left her body fall against his, her head resting on his chest.

_So this is how her heart breaks._

Logan's heart twisted at the mention of LuLu's name, and the things he tried to forget emerged to the surface. He had no claim on her anymore, but it still hurt to hear that she moved on so quickly and easily, even if he had broken her heart. But for now, despite how selfish he could be, he knew that he had to concentrate on the girl before him, and deal with his own emotions later, perhaps with a bottle of Smirnoff and punching his fist through a plastered wall.

Logan tensed in surprise as he felt the small girl before him suddenly lean upon him and bury her head in his chest. Her body shook, and his brain finally reacted, urging him to rest his head on top of hers, and wrap his arms around her, grasping around her lower back. The scent of Aussie shampoo and Victoria's Secret body spray invaded his senses, and despite her current condition, she felt warm, lovely, and natural. LuLu had never smelled this good or felt this right in his embrace.

Georgie Jones felt a little like heaven, of that he was quite sure.

Her hot, saline tears burned through his shirt, and what he was whispering to her he wasn't quite sure. All he knew was that this girl was probably his own chance of redemption.

For the second time in a week, he went home that night thinking of the girl with the biggest heart he'd ever known.

**III**

"In this life, you will give your heart away…twice."

"What?"

"That's what my idiotic fortune cookie says. Stupid fortunes," Georgie pouted as she threw the piece of paper on the table, and popped the cookie into her mouth, crunching loudly as she slouched back in her chair.

"Whdjooyrssy?" she asked through a mouthful

"Doll, what have I told you about eating and talking at the same time? I can't understand a damn thing you say," Logan teased as he picked at his lo mein.

Georgie giggled as she swallowed the remnants of her fortune cookie, and she sat up straight. "I said, what does yours say?" she asked stealing the fork from his hand and taking a bit of his food.

"Hey! Darlin, you already ate your own food, now let me eat mine. And I don't know, I don't really associate myself with something self-titled a "fortune cookie.'"

"I read you mine, so no it's only fair that you get to read me yours," Georgie emphasized with the fork pointing towards him as she spoke.

"And if I don't?" he questioned and raised his eyebrow in a challenge.

"I'll stab you with my fork," Georgie replied simply and picked up the little plastic wrapped package.

"Oh, so now you're a tough girl, huh?" Logan played along with an amused smirk.

"I could always tell my dad about you and Maxie. He'd love that."

"That is low, even for you, Miss Jones. Now give me my damn fortune!" he snatched the cookie out of her hand.

"You've got to be kidding me!" he groaned, his accent showing.

"What?! What does it say?' Georgie asked, her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas.

"Get another fortune."

"Huh?"

"That's what it said: 'Get another fortune'."

"No, it didn't, let me see that," she demanded as she took the piece of paper from him. Her smile reached her eyes and she read over the words, before erupting in laughter, tears nearly coming from her eyes.

"Not funny, darlin'. Now you see why I hate these stupid things."

"Hey, it's better than mine," she stated as she wiped away her tears of laughter "Just for the record, I don't think I ever want to give my heart away again. Ever. I apparently suck at this love thing."

"Hey," Logan started as he grabbed her hand, "You just didn't meet the right guy. Besides it's his loss."

A genuine smile spread across her face, "Thanks, Logan. Not just for that but for everything. For just being my friend."

"I aim to please," Logan suggestively joked.

"Oh, I'm sure you do."

"Who would have thought that you and I would be sitting here together, eating Chinese food and fortune cookies. I haven't done anything like this since…" he stopped, not willing to finish his sentence.

It was Georgie's turn to be there for her friend, and she cupped his cheek with her palm. "I know."

"I never meant to hurt her. It's just what I do. I really didn't mean too," Logan confessed holding back no shame for himself.

"I know."

"Georgie, you're wonderful, doll."

"I know."

-END-

Well, let me know what you guys all think. I know it's a little different, but I've got some stuff planned and in mind. Constructive criticism is always welcome.


	2. Part II

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

**Title: In This Life- Part II**

The first time he ever realized that he would do anything, and he meant _anything_ for her was the first time she told him that her greatest fear in life was leaving this cruel, harsh world alone. The way her eyes spoke of all her untold fears, and shattered dreams was enough to rob his soul blind, and wish upon himself all the wrong she had ever been burdened with and bear it upon his own withering soul.

"You'll never be alone. Never. I'd never let you be alone, let alone die," he had told her without the slightest hesitation, his protective nature of her permeating through the air, as she soaked in every syllable he spoke. And she believed him, believed in him.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating, Logan," she tainted the air with her confession.

"I'd suffocate for you if it meant that you could breathe," the skin on her face felt smooth, creamy upon his faithless, calloused and bloodstained hands. He cupped her face, gently letting his fingers trace her delicate flesh. She closed her eyes tightly, savoring his gentle touch, reminding her just how good it was to feel, to want to feel again.

She couldn't hear the thoughts in her head through the beating of her own heart, and the desire that filled her core.

It wasn't the first time she would walk away from in the dark of the night and wish that he would offer to keep other side of her bed warm.

a

a

a

a

"I'm sorry, Logan. I can't tonight," Georgie spoke through the cellular device hoping her apology would be enough.

"Why?" he asked clearly disappointed and confused. "We spend every Friday night together," he tried to respond casually.

"Not this Friday. Logan, I'm sorry. We'll hang out tomorrow. I promise, but I just can't tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because I have something I have to do," Georgie replied, her voice wearing her irritation less and less well.

"Like bail your sister out of the drunk tank?' Logan tried to joke, but it came out harsh and stiff.

"I have a date," she finally blurted out.

The dial tone on the other end of the line spoke for him.

a

a

a

a

"How's Bobby?" he asked her at breakfast, his lack of distaste for her male companion evident.

"Billy, Logan. B-I-L-L-Y. His name is Billy."

Logan shrugged and bit a piece of the crispy bacon. She sat across from him, her arms crossed across her chest, which by the way he was not gawking at as it moved in sync with her breathing. In and out, up and down, in and out.

"What do you have against him? You've never even met the guy, yet you jump on the chance to insult him."

"Because, doll, I don't have to like him."

"I've only ever told you positive things about him, about what a good guy he is, but you just decide not to like someone you've never met. That is ludicrous. Quite ridiculous, Logan."

"You really want to know why I don't like him Georgie?!" Logan asked, slamming his hand in defeat on the table, causing her to jump a little. Logan scolded himself at his lack of tolerance for his own emotions. It wasn't supposed to go this far. He wasn't supposed to get this far in.

"Not if you're going to get mad at me," she whispered softly, her head turning away from him. "It's not worth it."

Logan sighed, and reached his hand under the table to grasp her fingers, and held them steady in his hands, his fingertips brushing of her skin..

"Your smile," Logan whispered almost as she had.

"What?" her eyes locked on his, trying to read him, and for the first time since they'd been friends she couldn't read him. Maybe it was because of the way his gorgeous blue eyes danced in sincerity and were glowing from something seemingly too familiar to her. _Jealousy_. No, she told herself. Logan Hayes would not be jealous at some guy over her, simple, book-worm, good little Georgie Jones. But she knew different. He brought out a different side of her, a side that wanted to kiss him like he was her least breathe. He gave her carnal, impure thoughts she had never thought before, or even dared to explore. So it would be nothing short of a lie to say that she wished, hoped he could be jealous. Because then, maybe just maybe, she wouldn't feel so guilty for wanting, for craving him, her best friend.

"You smile when you talk about him. But your eyes don't quite light up. And your beautiful smile doesn't quite reach your eyes. It's a small, placent smile. It's not like the one when you're with me. You don't smile at him like you do at me even when we're throwing popcorn at each other on our move night. And your eyes are a fire, Georgie. They burn and light up when we're together, and when I embarrass you or make you laugh, or call you doll. He doesn't do that to you. That's how I know he's not for you. Because he's not me!" Logan growled at the last four words.

His hands had tensed and were now grasping desperately at her small, delicate hands. Her slender fingers were trembling a little, and her breathing was a little heavier. Georgie's face had paled a little at his words, and they twisted and stabbed like a knife to her insides, slicing away at the stregnth she was using to keep it all together and convince herself that she only wanted him as a friend..

Little white lies had really become her best friend, and she tried to hide it well. But her resolve was crumbling and was leaving her in a pile of ashes to scattered in every which way. Georgie couldn't do it anymore. It was time to bend and hopefully not break. Somehow she thought she would do the bending and snap in half.

She quickly and hastily retracted her hands from him, as she stoop up and gathered her purse, as Logan sat there frozen, stoic and aware that he had all but confessed his love, no his lust-he told himself, for her.

"Georgie, I…I" for the first time in his life he stammered. He smelled the light scent of her perfume, delicate yet sensual, wash over him, and her hair was brushing the side of his face, the side of her bodying leaning over him, and he quickly wrapped his arm around her, palms on her waist, fingers kneading her flesh, his desire needed to know that she was real and was this close to him.

"You're right, Logan," she whispered in his ear, her painful desire could be heard through her quiet tears, and tormented on-coming confession. "He's not you. He could never be you. Because I could never love him," she choked out the last line, but the way she spoke the word love seemed to flow eloquently.

Before he could even blink Georgie was gone into the afternoon sun, and he knew some others would say he should have run after her, but that's not what she wanted. She knew him, knew him all to well. She knew that he didn't do love well, and he needed space and to think about what it would really mean for him to give him, all of him, up so willingly and freely. She was saying to him you can have it, but do you want it, even if it breaks my own heart.

But for the first time in his life, Logan didn't need to think. And for the first time since his youth he prayed to God and the Virgin Mary that he was doing the right thing.

End Part II

Hm, so what does Logan decide to do? I'll only tell if you hit that pretty little review button at the bottom. Thanks for reading!


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